a day where a "close-to-a-great-game" was played against Chilli Peppers.

i watched a game with teamwork & spirit played from Invictus from the sidelines...
i saw deanna finally getting her game together, driving the basket, hustling with the opponents; i saw zhihui taking confident shots, making drives & good passes to her teammates, i saw amanda taking shots & going for her own rebounds, taking a confident role of a pointguard...
it's nice to see them play well because you know Invictus has grown!

as for me, hmmm...i did stoopid stuff on-court, no good shots taken, poor defence given, bad attitude etc...come to think of it, i truly sucked as a bball player. i tried fighting but it seems like there was lil' effort. I lost the fighting spirit.
Something happened at home the night before, it freaked me. I need to protect my family, be there when I can, stay strong for them. But what did I do? I had to head for work, then come home before heading for the game. Putting on a great smile & laughing everything off because I shldn't let my personal stuff affect the team's game, but maybe subconsciously I didn't put it aside. Sorry.

I also wanna step up for the team. I really really wanna have a 2nd win because I believe Invictus can achieve that, but I'm the one holding them back for the past games. How ironic can I be? I see myself losing the fighting spirit, I need to get it back and be focused on my game. I want to be a great player by giving my teammates good assists & passes, that's the first thing I wanna do for them, then I wanna contribute by making good shots & drives, plus good defence. 但是，心有余而力不足.

So what if I can perform during trainings? I'm as good as a training player but never a good competitive player. How do I move to the next phase?